No sooner had the trail of destruction begun, there was everybody sharing the events and calling for people to help by showing their love – as this image from Andy McKay perfectly sums up.

pic by Andy McKay

Independent businesses & community spirit
Cumbria is home to so many small independent businesses. Their ethos is embodied with inherent community spirit. Think of the amazing eateries, artisan bakers, craft breweries, running communities, art shops, book shops, small hotels, chocolatiers, b&b… so so much. I make no apologies for the cliché that they always pull together in adversity. That’s just one of the reasons why I’d one day love to live in the Lakes.

Below are just a very small selection of the destruction around Ullswater alone.

pic by Catstycam

pic by beyond imagination

pic by catstycam

This video from Catstycam gives a small indication of the damage to Pooley Bridge.

While this from David Jackson shows the sheer force of the water coming through Glenridding.

What Can You Do?
Simply show your support however you want That might be sending a message via Twitter, visiting for the day or booking an event for 2016. Me? Well I was already booked on the UT55 next July. I’ve also booked on Lakeland Trails Hawkshead and Kentmere. But what I also intend to do is buy more from the Cumbrian organisations online. And to encourage more friends to try out this magnificent part of the world. Also to stay over more when I do visit. And I’ll definitely book my very favourite trail run: Keswick 15k. As you can see below, it’s very likely the route will be different due to bridge damage – what we can guarantee is a truly special day for all participants and those involved

pics courtesy Lakeland Trails (top) and Tara Vallante (bottom)

Here’s to more amazing adventures on the trails 2016! And I’ll be sailing on one of these beautiful Ullswater Steamers come Nov 2016

2 pics immediately above by Ullswater Steamers

Leaving Ullswater, heading to Howtown

All the best!

Jeff

Having missed out on the last two Lakeland Trails events (Keswick and Coniston), I felt very frustrated at my ongoing struggle with #LymeDisease and the inevitable ups and downs my body goes through. In the middle of these two events was a Brussels trip to see the specialist who has amended my medication treatment plan slightly. Overall it is proving very successful but I have to remember to be very patient as it’s a long-term process.

Mindset

At times like this it’s important to keep thinking positively. Focusing on the benefits and underlying joy of something, helps prevent you wallowing in negativity and self-pity. I can’t deny I’ve been guilty of the latter on occasions because of what this has cost me (in family time, missed events, financially etc.). But then, many people close to me are much worse off. Also, those who care have unquestioningly offered support of some shape or form – all of which I’m immensely grateful for. So I try to look at the bigger picture and appreciate my quality of life.

Why Do I Run Then?

For many reasons. Mostly it is because of the lift exercise gives me and, in my opinion, running is the most natural form of exercise. I was a decent runner during secondary school, a fast sprinter and always in the top 3 at 800m & 1500m. Cross country I especially loved at school. Thinking back, it seems it’s the exhilaration of running as fast as I could over whatever distance, the outdoors, and in particular the connection with woodland, hills, in all weathers – and the added incentive of competing!

You can’t beat exercising in the fresh air – in all weathers! Whether it’s a beautifully bright and fresh autumn day, a nighttime ‘bat’ run, snowbound or lashing it down. Nothing beats the feeling you’re out there doing it

Sometimes it’s only possible to run in solitude. My mind will gradually drift from thinking about daily things, to running form, to absolutely nothing – a great state to arrive at. I vividly remember running on Pennine Moors and the only sounds I could hear were my [ahem] light foot strike, rustling wind, ground-nesting birds. Looking up at a flock of geese caused me to stumble off a fell single track and giggle at my amateurish slip.

Clearly fitness is a massive benefit. Fitness of the brain, the core, organs and so on. In my late twenties, career meant less time keeping fit. Having a young family from my thirties continued this trend. However, having had a Discectomy when 31, I was told the best way to prevent further issues was to rebuild and maintain my fitness.  It was in my mid-thirties that I entered my first trail run – the Helvellyn Lakeland Trails 15km. I’d entered due to working with the sponsoring brand and a runner friend encouraging me to commit. Totally unaware and unprepared for the course profile and terrain I cacked myself 2 weeks before. But I was advised to run to my own rhythm with a smile and I’d get through it. I was totally hooked!

For me, it was all about the people. The ability of elite runners simply astounded me – with their capacity to simply glide over challenging terrain and ‘sprint’ major climbs. But more so was the range of shapes, sizes and ages of fellow runners. Two instances of inspiration in particular stick in my mind:

1) The 60+ vet who encouraged me to keep going despite cramp in my calf as we crested the Hawkshead Coffin Trail. If he could keep going, so could I.

2) The middle-aged lady at the back of a ParkRun field, determined to complete 5km while recovering from surgery. Incredible

These examples of indefatigable spirit sum up running for me. The joy of the challenge, the ability to overcome the demons that tell you you can’t carry on, the mind’s ability to forget the pain and go again. At pretty much every event I’ve ever been to, the atmosphere created by volunteers, family, friends and locals there to cheer on runners, stall holders at the event village, elderly runners sharing their experiences, all form part of a tremendous community. I’ve met amazing people through this sport and will continue to for many years to come I’m sure.

I am definitely competitive, though running has increasingly become about doing the very best I can. So yes I do try to bridge the gap to the runner in front. And I will be as keen as anyone to maintain my lead over someone else. But that is more about using other people to help me do my very best and potentially improve on my last run in some way.

And the views – oh the views of #trailrunning! Especially places like the Lakes, Pennines, local woods

And that links to the final reason I run (that I can think of today anyway!)… Exploring new places. Through running events and off-road trails with friends, I’ve discovered places I didn’t even know existed. Opening up new boundaries is simply an amazing feeling

Below is a small selection of images that convey my joy of running. Hope they bring a smile to your face

pic by Kay @runforfun82

Jeff

Graham, you’re probably best known for the Lakeland Trails. What is the ethos behind these?
I started the Lakeland Trails in 2004 out of sheer frustration – I’d been moaning for years that our area of the world (the Lake District) didn’t have comparable events to the all inclusive, European mountain trail running scene. I’d been lucky enough to run in some amazing trail running events all over the world, and wanted to bring something similar to the Lakes. It just so happened that I’d reached that age when competitive running was losing it’s appeal, and I wasn’t interested in chasing veteran classes. I was working part time as an Optometrist and had time on my hands, so I thought I’d put something back into the sport that has given me so much pleasure. I tried to bring all the best bits from my years of international running experiences into family friendly, festival trail running events.
The first event in 2004 had just 80 competitors, this year over 11,000 competitors will take part in our Lakeland Trails and Ultimate Trails events.

What do you think is behind the surge in Trail Running participation?
What’s really surprising to me is that it took so long! The trail running scene had been huge everywhere else in the world for more than 30 years even before I started the Lakeland Trails. I guess us Brits take some time to adapt to new things and I’m as guilty as anyone – I spent years making fun of people walking and running with poles and now I use them all the time! Now the big brands are pushing their trail running product, it looks like there will be even more growth in the near future.

Once runners get off road, appreciate the beauty of running in our natural environment, then it’s understandable that they seldom return to the mass participation road races chasing times.

Yes indeed, I myself was hooked after doing the Helvellyn 15km

Give us some behind-the-scenes Race Director insight on event day.
Each one is different, as our events take place throughout the year and move around to different locations. Being based in the Lake District, the biggest single factor for us is the weather conditions leading up to and on event day – we base every event on the maxim “plan for a hurricane, expect a heat wave”.
We also have a great team involved with the Lakeland Trails events – many are volunteers and some have been involved since we started 12 years ago! My role is really like the conductor of an orchestra – I’m there at the front, but I’m sure they could play just as well without me. Everyone knows their role inside out and I just let everyone get on with it. At some events we have over 100 marshals, stewards, volunteers, event crew etc to manage, so it’s important to have really good systems in place.

I only have limited insight having volunteered for the Ullswater 14km. How does being Race Director differ to your previous life as an international orienteer and mountain runner?
Organising and delivering an event as a Race Director is exactly the same as the preparations used when training for a big International running competition. Making a comprehensive plan beforehand, making sure everything is covered down to the smallest detail in good time before the event – this follows very similar lines to an elite training programme. Even “tapering” in the days before an event, taking time out on the hills, so I’m well rested mentally to deal with any “wild cards” often imposed by the weather. Once you know all the hard work’s been done and nothing has been left to chance, you can get on with enjoying the event and making sure you put on the best show possible. Afterwards, you can relax and enjoy a few well earned beers before the process starts all over again!

Picture from mirror.co.uk 10.09.15

Any amazing runner stories you could share from participants of Lakeland Trails or Ultimate Trails?
Yes, there are loads. There’s one happening right now. Rich Walker, a member of Kendal Mountain Rescue, three years ago helped with marshalling our Staveley event (the event supports the KMR financially). He really enjoyed it and then helped with marshalling our first Ultimate Trails, ultra marathon, camping out on Garburn Pass with his wife Zoe. Seeing all the ultra runners inspired him enough to want to take part in this year’s UT55. He’s not a runner, and he started training, and made it to the start line on 27th June. What was really remarkable, was that he was waiting for a kidney transplant and his consultant had advised him against even training for the event. Rich found great strength and focus from his training, which helped him cope with the uncertainty surrounding his medical condition. He set off on the UT55 raising funds for the Mountain Rescue, although on the day the hot weather defeated him and he took the sensible decision to retire. On 22nd August Rich had a successful kidney transplant operation and recuperated in hospital. He came home yesterday and is making good progress. I just know he’ll make the start line for the UT55 on 2nd July next year and finish off the job!

Incredible! Rich will no doubt inspire hundreds (if not thousands!) of runners with his courage and attitude

What would you say to someone considering their first off-road run?
Easy – log on to www.lakelandtrails.org and book.

Haha, well said – that’s what I did afterall!

You recently became a member of the Bob Graham 24 Hour Club. How would you describe your experience on the day and in getting to that stage?
My dad did his Bob Graham Round when I was 18 months old, so I guess it all started then! I’ve been a fell runner pretty much all my life, so the BG was always one to put on the running CV at some stage. It’s regarded very much as a right of passage for fell runners of a certain age, maybe the last big thing to achieve before going firmly downhill!!? There’s a lot of luck involved, with training, injuries, weather, etc so it was a real honour for me to achieve a sub 24 hr round in May this year. I loved every minute of it – if anything, the training even more than the day itself. If anyone was interested in the full story you can read it here.

Graham start of BGR with Ash and Helen Jackson

Graham BGR Training near Kentmere

BGR end of Leg 3, Wasdale

Graham celebrating BGR with Ash and Claire

It really was inspiring Graham….and your next challenge?
I’m pleased you found it inspiring Jeff, you’ll have to pencil the BGR in for the future!!
I am one of those people who need to have a goal and a challenge to aim for, although at my stage in life, I want to also relish every step of the way, so there’s no rush to achieve this or that. I’ve pencilled in the Joss Naylor Challenge for next year – although it’s shorter than the “Bob” it has quite a tight time limit and it’s only open to old gits like me who are over 50! For the rest of this year I’m enjoying ticking off all the Wainwright summits again (I did all of these last year). I love planning new routes, and the Wainwrights offer a chance to take me to less frequented parts of the Lake District that I wouldn’t visit otherwise. My last jaunt took in 14 summits on a perfect summer’s day with views to die for and hardly anyone about, the “high point” literally was at the summit of Grasmoor when I watched a rare Ring Ouzel close up for around 5 minutes.

Funnily enough the BGR is on my mind Graham. I’ll be sure to tap you up for advice
From who or what do you get your inspiration?
Throughout my life I’ve been lucky enough to meet and get to know some incredibly inspiring
individuals from the sporting world. The ones I’m drawn to aren’t necessarily the most successful runners, but they are those who still have that spark of life, those true adventurers who do things because they want to, because they sound like fun and a good idea at the time. I guess those people have shaped my own aspirations and ambitions.

What is your favourite trail running route?
From my house in Kendal, through Serpentine Woods, across the golf course, over the by-pass, up onto Cunswick Scar, along to the “mushroom” look out on Scout Scar, then back across the old Racecourse to Kendal. I must have run this five mile route hundreds of times and I’ve never tired of it yet!

What is your favourite sports nutrition pre-race and post-race?
Completely off the radar for me – I just eat what I feel like before and after a race. When I started running in my teens (in the 70’s) there just wasn’t any sports nutrition product available, so I’ve got used to “real” food. It literally could be anything.

Can’t beat ‘real food’. Any running / activity books you could recommend?
Plenty – I’m an avid reader and love a good book. Whilst there’s a lot of running trash out there, I just love “Born To Run” by Chris McDougall; I think “Ghost Runner” by Bill Jones is a great story, but one of the best ones I’ve come across isn’t marketed as a “running” book at all – “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand – absolutely brilliant!

What is your running mantra?
Have a good time all the time!

Graham winter training

Excellent! Graham, thank you very much for this interview. You’ve helped thousands of people to discover the joys of #trailrunning and I’m pretty certain the vast majority of us have never looked back   

Just to remind you, Graham’s story of his BGR is a superb read. Real insight to the joy and pain of preparation, the effort and rewards of success

Yours in sport!

Jeff

The Build Up

Friday lunchtime thoughts started wondering to the Saturday and that’s when I seriously began to worry and get excited about what was in store. Would I get round? Was I being stupid even trying? Was I putting people through worry? The answer to all three I knew would be yes. The latter because treasured family and friends knew what I’ve been going through since May 2013 onwards – as my Lyme Disease post revealed. My wife, parents and friends had all ‘had words’ with me saying I should not attempt it if my body was feeling low, or to pull out at a checkpoint if it was too much. I promised them and myself I would – and I really meant it.

Fortunately Train Running Magazine shared this inspiring video on Friday. In it, Matt Williamson, elite ultra runner says: “You’re never going to know what you’re capable of unless you ask your body to do it. And if you ask your body to do it, the amount of satisfaction you can get from that is unlimited.” These words were to ring so, so true.

Pre-event earworms and euphoria

I had words of wisdom on repeat in my head – honestly couldn’t help it.  Two earworms in particular looped:

“We were born to run; we were born because we run.” Chris McDougall, Born To Run

“Endurance is what we were built for.” Matt Williamson, Endurance Video
(Note: This doesn’t mean I believe I’m built for endurance!)

After travelling up Friday evening, I knew I’d wake early Saturday so decided to register 07:30. On heading back to my accommodation I felt strangely euphoric – singing my head off in the car as peaks appeared above cloud, a lovely breeze etc. I knew it would be special on many levels. Little did I know how much the heat would take its toll.

What I did know was I was woefully under-prepared in terms of a total lack of regular ultra training and recce runs. With the ongoing recovery, the longest run I’d done had been one half marathon trail run in Coniston!  In fact I’d only ever done one marathon back in 2011. Yet, bizarrely that wasn’t really important to me. What was most important was I’d been able to make it to the start line. So I joined five other Rochdale Harriers, each of us ready to undertake something we hadn’t done before.

Nice legs, shame about…

Some apprehensive faces?

Fuel regular and often

Nicky Spinks had stressed the importance of eating regularly, even if you don’t feel like it. So I worked on eating something every 30-40 mins, packing 6x date bar slices and 4x power energy balls, plus the banana slices etc I knew I could pick up at each checkpoint. Not forgetting the mini feast the organisers had told us would be waiting at CP5 – Stickle Barn Tavern!

I stuck to this rigidly. On several occasions I didn’t feel hungry at all but knew from every ultra story I’d read that regular calorie intake was critical. Ditto fluids. Sipping water and/or electrolytes very regularly, particularly during uphills. I have never sweated so much, so relentlessly as I did on Saturday. My top half was literally drenched from 5km onwards. Thank goodness for wicking fabrics! Every feed station I made sure of filling my bottle again with either water, Nuun energy drink or half of each. Volunteers at every checkpoint constantly cheerful and encouraging. They really entered into the spirit of things. Over the course I burned about 4,300 calories, so didn’t stop refuelling until 8pm Sunday!

Strategy for the Day

Again, based on advice from Nicky Spinks, the approach was to walk every climb, run the flats and walk some descents. I love rapid descents but had been warned that your quads can suffer massively if you don’t ease off earlier on. I did ease by walking up ‘The Struggle’ to Kirkstone Pass and held back quite a bit on the descent towards Brothers Water and Hartsop. What a view too!  That beginning climb of almost 1500 ft was certainly a welcome to ultra territory!

Descent towards Brothers Water

My lack of any recce was a nagging doubt that came to mind on several occasions… Did it make much difference? Yes and No. It would have helped knowing what was in store. But the further you go it just becomes a case of keeping going no matter how far is left or how much further the climb. All ifs, buts, maybes which would make no difference to me on the day so I just got on with it.

The last 10km I felt strangely strong again. 2 big climbs apart (one of which was Loughrigg) there were a number of flat parts. I was really able to get into a relaxed rhythm and build up my pace again – at least that’s what I told myself, my Garmin battery had died at about 50km! Results later revealed, that out of 521 listed starters, 311 finished and I placed 95th in 8:52:59. My fellow Harriers all did better placing between 27th and 53rd.

What Got Me Through?

Matt Williamson’s mindset of breaking things into small chunks worked a treat. I’d began to run for some time with club mates Mark & John and unintentionally ran a little quicker than I should have. Checkpoint 2 (17km) came 10 mins ahead of schedule and the three of us enjoyed a very welcome top up of fluids, some banana and a brief chat. We knew the biggest climb of the day was next so took our time.  The initial 400+ft climb out of Glenridding was relatively comfortable, being mostly in the shade of the trees. But after a descent and undulation came the 1200 ft climb past Grisedale Tarn to Grisedale Hause. My quads cramped really badly from about halfway up and I almost fell backwards twice. Remarkable views back down towards were some compensation – as was the fact I knew the pain would subside at some point. Nausea was a sensation I was to experience for the first of several times during each climb. As Robbie Britton has said, it’s part and parcel of any ultra.

The descent from Grisedale Hause saw us drop about 1600 ft in around 6.5km. The marshall at the top ensured I didn’t mistakenly take the 110km route and offered a friendly warning to take care on the descent with it being very rocky and in places slippy, despite the incredibly hot weather. So I took my time though my quads took another bashing. Cramps again heading downhill and I wasn’t even halfway round the course

Looking back on climb out of Glenridding

Grisedale Hause descent to Grasmere

By the time I reached Grasmere I was in a pretty bad way. Trying to relax very tight thighs, calfs and hamstrings while trotting along part of the A591 south, I was nearly overtaken by an enthusiastic 5 year old! Had a laugh with his dad about it because again this encouraged me to keep going. Same as kids applauded myself and others as we ran across the lush field just before getting into the Grasmere checkpoint. That stop at 29.3km was so welcome. It was at this part that I did question whether or not I could continue. So I took time to consume and top up fluids, grab a bite and briefly chat to fellow runners. Yet again, feed station volunteers, particularly the little girl, were infectious in their enthusiasm. Part of me genuinely wanted to stop here but I resisted this and made myself step out of the school building. Two friendly faces in the shape of Chris and Karen gave me the chance to stop, say hello, ask how the others were doing and to adjust my laces. (Anything for a few extra seconds rest!)

Looking back towards Grasmere & Rydal Water

Chatting to a fellow runner I discovered I wasn’t the only one questioning myself at this point. In her case, her other half walked with her out of Grasmere and reminded her how much she’d achieved getting this far, so to continue. We soon passed one fellow runner who said the heat was simply too much for him. I’d already decided to just deal with each section, in this case Silver How which was a bloody climb of about 600 ft in around 1.5km-2km! At this point, we reminded ourselves the next checkpoint was only around 8km away. This helped me deal with each and every undulation I was to ascend / descend. Hardly any flat here and plenty of slate scree. The marshall was revelling in the incredible 360 views up here, proudly suggesting he’d got the best spot of the day. It was hard to disagree One fantastic moment of distraction came when hearing and seeing overhead fighter planes. Someone, somewhere kindly videoed this and shared on Twitter.

Vulcan XH558 passing over Bassenthwaite Lake @cumbriatourism @CarlisleAirport @keswickuk @XH558 #Keswick pic.twitter.com/DVHFsUAL0E

— Antony J Cross (@antonyjohncross) June 27, 2015

From just before the halfway point, my mantra became “Ask the question”.  At every incline I’d walk. Then on approaching the crest, my inner voice would utter “Ask the question” and I’d force myself to jog off again. Every single time I made my body respond. The ultra really became a metaphor for life – and for my own journey since May 2013. Breaking things down into achievable goals: The next checkpoint; drink; over the next boulder; to the top of the ridge; drink; get to the next gate; food; run past applauding spectators; one foot in front of the other…

At every opportunity I tried to encourage others, whether they passed me or I passed them – sometimes repeatedly with the same participants. Just before checkpoint 4 at Langdale my mate Luke caught me up and after a brief chat seemed to effortlessly pull away – git We wished each other luck at the checkpoint while enjoying another top up of fluids and fuel food.

Circling the Langdales

Sucking up more suffering was inevitable. Blisters had been forming on my right foot and I took the opportunity to tend to them – and have a 5 min sit down! Not sure what the passing tourists made of me snapping a pic of my foot?! Many fellow participants were to endure similar.

Approaching Stickle Barn was another very difficult phase for me. Across very boggy ground, up bridleways, down steep very rocky terrain. I felt like I had very little left physically. But like others, I was determined to push on… “Ask the question“. Lakeland day trippers applauded us into the pub. I fuelled up with flat coke (I never usually drink coke), some leek and potato soup, plus a few fat chips! Sat down and chatted to a few 110km participants and voiced my admiration. So I felt the least I could do was get through the final 12km over Loughrigg and into Ambleside. I will never forget leaving Stickle Barn to the sound of cowbells and cheers ringing in my ears. Neither will I forget the bloke behind me muttering “Now that climb is just taking the piss!” as we began ascending the penultimate major ascent Slightly less of a surprise was James Kirby hiding in the bushes ready to take a snap – he’d been on duty for about 24hrs!

Let me finish on a huge positive:

Endless encouragement

I’ve always felt there is a joy to running with and against others. But I now know the true meaning of Chris McDougall’s words: “The reason we race isn’t so much to beat each other,… but to be with each other.”

Every single clap. Every smile of a pub goer or rambler. Every child shouting out “Keep going!” “Well done!” as they held their arms out for a high five. How I enjoyed returning the favour every time!

As I came back towards Rothay Park, I still didn’t know whether I had 1km or 400m left. But one little girl made a massive difference and I will never forget her enthusiasm. Standing on the grass verge, she clapped me and shouted “The finish is just round the corner!” I smiled and said “Thanks!”  Immediately I was running between lines of spectators who all applauded and shouted encouragement. I turned the corner around the hedge and there it was: “Ultimate Trails” writ large on the big black inflatable! My eyes scanned the finish to check I was really at the end – and to the right I saw my wife and kids star jump, massive smiles on Louis & Izzy’s faces as they shouted “Dad!!”. The MC welcomed me back and said something along the lines of it being an epic achievement for me given what I’d been through – my face as the medal was placed around my neck was probably one of immense pride, relief, fatigue. Anne Marie’s face was pure relief and she thrust a latte and flapjack into my hands. For some reason I developed a Latte craving that next 24hrs!

I later discovered the last finisher came in around 01:40 Sunday morning. What an achievement to get through! Fellow Harrier Jill completed the 110km with Davina – a feat I struggle to get my head around…

Would I do another ultra? Well I certainly haven’t uttered the words “Never again” so perhaps I will I’d kept telling myself I was no Ultra runner but actually I got round, got through severe quad cramping, nausea etc etc. People got me through it and I hope I helped others achieve too Ultra marathon entry next year then?

So to every single marshall, to every volunteer, to every person in the parts of the Lake District we passed through: “Thank You!”. There was the fella I saw on a bike three times. The lady I saw three times in the last 15km: She appeared at the top of the last climb before Stickle Barn Tavern, clapping and shouting encouragement. She was there when I exited Stickle Barn. She was there clapping me at the finish line. I began to wonder if I’d been hallucinating! Possibly having run 58km of mountain terrain…

My main thought from the experience? “Ask the question.”  You’d be surprised at the answer

Yours in sport!

Jeff

Numerous runners, family, friends have asked me to share my story of dealing with Lyme Disease. I’ve initially been reticent for a number of reasons, not least it being so very personal, a mental and physical battle. Mostly that it might come across as ‘woe is me’ and that’s not the kind of person I am or strive to be.

But persuade they did. I hope this helps family, friends, colleagues and those in my wider professional and running network understand the complexities of recovery.

More than anything, that it provides some useful insight and potentially comfort for anyone else with Lyme Disease or chronic illness.

So how did this all start? Well I’d always been very active, both physically and professionally. I’d run my own business for almost 7 years, switched career, got to 2/3 of the way through a part time PhD, joined a running club, bought my first new road bike… However I noticed that I had started to become ill on a cyclical basis. Having very rarely ever had time off with illness through my career, my periods of struggling into work began to take their toll. My system eventually completely crashed in May 2013.

It was only then and through having to provide my GP with the details that I was able to look back and identify the pattern of symptoms. Over a period of 15-18 months, I’d been going through cycles of feeling very rough indeed every 12 weeks or so. And I’m not just talking ‘man flu’ here, it was a genuine struggle to do anything. Thankfully I love my job so I was able to cope with the positive pressure that puts on me. The most noticeable symptom was that every 6 weeks I’d get these superficial nodules in my armpits and occasionally near my pubic area (nice!). For a long time I’d assumed these were spider bites or something but in hindsight I was able to identify that they appeared every 6 weeks almost to the day! That’s when I knew there was something more to this.

Progressively it got worse and two key incidents made this obvious to me:

(i) On the day of a relay with the Harriers, I woke to find my legs feeling like lead. I put this down to pre-race nerves. However during the run I was slightly slower than I’d expected to be and was genuinely drained on getting home – thanks to Chris, Jack, Nick we finished 3rd;

(ii) A week or so later I almost passed out having completed a relatively straightforward 5km race. I’ve never fainted before and intuitively felt something was wrong.

Very early June that was it…I became bed-ridden for initially 10 days and slept almost constantly for 3 days. Family were obviously very worried. They made me drink fluids and eat what I could. Despite this I lost almost 14lbs (6.5kg) within 3 weeks! (Remember I’d been very healthy so didn’t really have much spare fat – well okay a little bit!)

These are some of the main symptoms – which you can see are complex and varied:

Physical:

* Extreme fatigue
* Intense headaches – particularly frontal
* Joint pain
* Muscle pain
* Kidney pain
* Nodules on skin
* Chest rash cyclically
* Waxy skin complexion and occasionally grey tone
* Floaters (in the eyes!)
* Immune system very low indeed. Susceptible to almost any ailment – typically manifests itself with flaring up of my own symptoms.
* Totally unable to control body temperature
* Night sweats
* Sleep very fractured sleep now since June 2013
* Then excessive night time sleep
* Excessive bladder usage – e.g. urinating up to 4x a night
* Mixed bowel movements – seems to be regularly, then 3-4 times p/day
* Occasional loss of libido [ho hum]
* Sore feet (soles)

Neurological:

* Confusion / difficulty finding words and communicating
* Speech errors & wrong words, e.g. ‘more the better’: rather than ‘more the merrier’ [confused with ‘sooner the better’]
* Forgetfulness (attention, short term)
* Severe anxiety – something I’d never suffered from at all.

Below is the mapping of the stages I’d been through, in order to help my GP and a Lyme Disease specialist make sense of what was going on. For anyone dealing with chronic illness I’d recommend doing this. Helps clarify things for you, those close to you and any medical professional you may see.

The Battle with the Medical Profession

My major problem was that I didn’t remember being bitten by a tick – apparently between 50-60% of Lyme Disease sufferers are the same. Neither did I have the classic ‘bullseye rash’ that can be a key early indicator. Basically if not identified quickly you are at risk of the disease taking a real hold in your system rather than being able to be treated and rid of it within 4 weeks maximum. Ticks can be so small they’re notoriously difficult to spot.

This fantastic “Ticks” video re. Lyme Disease by the British Mountaineering Council explains a lot.

Luckily my GP was absolutely brilliant. Always open-minded and genuinely listening to what I explained to him. Totally understood my concerns at every step of the way. I consider myself incredibly fortunate in this respect and later sent a letter to him and the practice thanking them for their continued high level of care.

With in excess of 20 blood tests, x-rays, scans etc. I was tested for everything, from minor ailments to life-threatening conditions. Luckily nothing concrete showed up. Yet the perverse paradox was that I was desperate for them to find something so I’d know for definite what I was dealing with. I sincerely hope that doesn’t offend anyone who has been diagnosed with a serious condition.

Sadly I couldn’t be as positive about the infectious diseases specialist team I saw. The registrar proceeded to work through a very prescriptive form to discover my symptoms – dismissively waving away my offer to show her the above mapping of symptoms. Crucially, she refused to believe that Lyme Disease was a risk in the UK! Myself and relatives found this astounding given the research we had done online (and I was fully aware of the risks of internet diagnosis).  Both the registrar and consultant I was later to see made major errors in noting my symptoms. Worst of all, they suggested this was all viral and that I was to come off the medication. Working with the GP I was to prove this to be incorrect. We also think it very likely I was bitten by a tick when running off-road in the Lakes, Finland or the Med. So it’s often insect repellent and/or running tights now!

I was in a situation of being prescribed medication based on Lyme Disease, with my full understanding that I hadn’t been 100% diagnosed with this. The one thing we did know for certain was that I was responding positively to Doxycycline of 200Mg 2x/day.

On finding a Lyme Disease specialist, he reassured me that is was definitely not viral, nor was it in my mind. He had the confidence to ask me to “tell your story” and listened intently. He explained how difficult Lyme Disease is to diagnose – as experienced by many sufferers including Avril Lavigne recently.  For example, in my case the Elisa test results suggested Lyme Disease yet the Lyme immunoblot was not conclusive. Ultimately he recommended I continue with my antibiotic treatments and seek holistic therapies such as Kinesiology and Reiki. Anything that would help body recover and potentially reboot my immune system.

On the recommendation of a very dear friend – herself suffering with chronic illness – I saw a Kinesiology practitioner, Julie Elder of Totally Holistic Health. As well as helping immensely with physical symptoms, she taught me a lot about diet which, although very healthy anyway, could further benefit from more raw food and less refined ingredients. Hence ultimately my mix of food and running on this blog!

A Battle of the Mind

Work were absolutely brilliant, putting no pressure on me – in fact actively seeking to take it off.  However, anxiety was the devil on my shoulder. I eventually returned to work late August 2013 and was extremely apprehensive for no rational reason. It was also a huge physical effort to walk about 300 metres to the building from where I’d parked. For someone active all his life this was very hard to take.

So it was a case of very supportive colleagues and encouraging me to “just do what you can”.  A key lesson I’d pass onto anyone is to openly communicate with key colleagues. If you’re lucky like I was/am, they will support you. I’m proud to say I did not miss any key work commitments since returning – and still haven’t.

By early 2014, my GP had diagnosed me with depression, triggered by the chronic illness. He reassured me he’d have been very surprised had I not been depressed such was the extent of my chronic illness. Treatment for this was the lowest dose of Fluoxetine. Despite everything I knew and understood about depression, I still felt a sense of shame. It’s still something I’ve only discussed with a handful of people. We really ought to reconfigure how this is perceived. For me, the brain is an organ so it would help to start calling conditions of this nature “brain illness” rather than “mental illness” and the various negative connotations that has.

Thankfully I’ve been able to deal with the anxiety no matter how severe. On one memorable – and in a way funny – occasion, I had an incredibly strong urge to bolt out of work! On my way to delivering a presentation the devil on my shoulder was telling me “You’re crap! You can’t do this, just run!” Thankfully I resisted the urge and smiled on entering the room and continued apparently as normal

It was very tough too not being able to train with club members. A scouser, I’d been heartily adopted by Rochdale Harriers   So for the 12-15 months I couldn’t exercise, it was of immense help to just go down, watch training sessions and chat to people. Without that network I’m convinced I may not have returned to running.

Lastly, I found myself questioning everything… am I imagining this? Are those close to me frustrated? Do people believe me?

Giving very mixed messages

Now massively improved thanks to continued use of very strong antibiotics, things continue to be on an upward trajectory overall. This is why I’m acutely aware of giving very mixed signals to people. Like so many of us, I’ll smile and try to be positive, even if inside physically/brain-wise I’m feeling like absolute shit. In total I’ve been living the vast majority of nearly 700 days feeling like I have genuine flu. However I’ve learned to ignore it in many respects. Improvement is not linear, it’s very much up and down from one day or week to the next.

I’m very conscious of giving mixed messages. Family, friends, colleagues increasingly see me as getting better which is brilliant. Particularly when they see pics and stories of me #trailrunning the likes of Hawkshead, Staveley, Coniston etc.

I learned to enjoy running and any form of exercise for what it is – an opportunity to feel alive… the wind in your hair, the rain on your face… Running in particular seems to clear my head by allowing me to just be in the moment – cheesy as that sounds! The first time back was a very simple 1km run. I’ll never forget the joy of just trotting along outside for the first time in about 15 months, some light rain on my face and massive smile

Anything involving full concentration continues to take it’s toll on me. So PhD reading and writing has had to go on hold for almost 2 years now! Previously earmarked for promotion on several occasions this has had a direct impact on my career. But I know that won’t be forever and I’ll deal with what I can control.

I regularly deal with internal conflict. E.g. feeling good, then feeling awful; promotion being extremely important one day, far less so the next; content not to study, frustrated at my inability to complete PhD, active one week, not the next. For this I’ve found The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters invaluable.

I know dips are inevitable and will continue to be so for up to another 2 years – possibly permanently. Medication is likely to continue for at least another 3 months, taking it to over 24 months in total and incorporating my imminent consultation with a specialist in Belgium early July 2015.

Taking the Positives from all of this

✓ All of this has helped me even more acutely recognise how important it is to live life and grasp it with both hands. Family and friends have done everything they can, either being a sounding board, listening to my [ahem] occasional whinging, cookery suggestions etc.

✓ I know people care about me and trust they know that is mutual. My network is not huge but it’s quality. For example, Ben ran Hawkshead and encouraged me constantly. For that I was eternally grateful!

✓ Running club mates have been an absolute inspiration to me. From those who simply encouraged me back, to those that accomplished amazing things, plus others who have cajoled me along during training or a race – you all know who you are Interviewees on this RunEatRepeat.co.uk blog have incredible tales of their own to tell.

✓ Close family, friends, people I interact with every day through my work – all continue to be a source of energy and inspiration.

✓ I’ve learned not to be so hard on myself – something so many of us are guilty of.

This has not beaten me and will not beat you! 

So that appears to be the end of this unedited story. Apologies for any waffle and the length of my diatribe.

If you are struggling with Lyme Disease – either suspected or diagnosed, these pages may help:

• Borreliosis and Associated Diseases Awareness UK
• Centre for Disease Control and Prevention

As I said at the very beginning, I hope this helps anyone who may be suffering with any chronic illness. Take each day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself

Jeff

So it was up at 5am for a 6am meet to car share. I’d volunteered as driver because my 3 companions were doing the full marathon. (Didn’t fancy risking the driver cramping as we headed back down the M6 later!)  Some porridge and apple compote was my fuel of choice for the morning ahead.  I hadn’t done this event since 2010 when it was shorter. With Staveley and Hawkshead 17kms behind me I was really excited about Coniston. We’ve definitely been blessed with the weather so far for this series and yet again it was forecast for good: Barring the odd shower, the sun was out again. With a breeze on the day, it made for ideal marathon conditions.

Arriving in plenty of time to sign in, we each registered for our events. I had the pleasure of clapping and cheering 3 fellow Harriers off on their trail marathon quest. That gave me an hour to prepare for the half.  The atmosphere was maintained over many hours, mainly because of the mix of marathon and half marathon races and challenges. Having 4 full #trailrunning events, plus the kids run around Coniston Showground, all came together to make a party atmosphere. A final bit of inspiration came when bumping into Graham (Race Director) to congratulate him on his recent Bob Graham Round success. Read his amazing story here.

When it came to our 10am start time, I was raring to go. I’d decided to take it relatively easy for the first 5km to ensure my legs were properly warmed up for the climbs. I was pretty sure of seeing Pete Lashley steam out of the blocks early on – no doubt nervous of missing his 2.15pm gig slot!

We started with a lovely run out of Coniston Old Hall and through Coniston Village itself. Then it was on the bridleways, through National Trust woodland towards Holme Fell – a gorgeous opening to both routes. Then started the first proper climb of the day! It’s about 150m of ascent between 5km-7km past the old slate quarry before undulating through yet more terrific trails.

Because of the weather and remoteness of parts of the route, I’d decided to run with my minimal Ultimate Direction AK race vest. Stocked with about 1l water plus some energy balls I knew I’d be fine in emergency should I ‘bonk’. Nevertheless from 6km I took the opportunity to have a cup of water and a small chunk of flapjack at each feed station. My only disappointment was not seeing any of the promised bananas!

As we approached the 10km point, we headed towards probably the best vista of the day – the circuit of Tarn Hows. I took a few blurry pics while running – a bit shaky but! This was fab because as we looped around, runners could be seen strewn out all around the Tarn. The spirit of fellow runners was superb – the leader whizzed past me on his 2nd loop and I wished him well. This was rewarded when for probably the only time in my running [ahem] career/hobby I started to lap people on their 1st loop. All was done with mutual smiles and best wishes

Tarn Hows was surprisingly but pleasantly undulating – superb! Branching off left we headed southwards and towards one of the high points (literally and euphorically) of Hill Fell trail. Here we topped out at 238m where James was taking photos – Tarn Hows the stunning backdrop. (We gleefully passed some poor sod who hadn’t realised he was supposed to loop the Tarn so doubled back!)

From around 14km we had roughly 2km pelt of 190m descent through woodland of such tranquility it was breathtaking. All you can hear is your own feet (light and fast honest!) cruising over the smooth, steep woodland trail. If there is anything that rekindles the joy of running, this is it. I for one couldn’t help but smile broadly during this section

I’m still not sure of my endurance levels at all, so had kept a little back for the 4-5km run-in along the bridleway, past Coniston shoreline and return to Coniston Old Hall. All along this section Lakeland ramblers and kids were applauding us. This made for a natural energy boost as we returned to the showground for one cruel but cracking loop. No hitting a wall today either – we were able to literally run through it! Crashing through barriers and all that.

As with other Lakeland Trails events, spectators applauded enthusiastically which once again led to a sprint finish from me. Either I’m not trying hard enough earlier or I’m a show-off (perhaps both!)…

Anyway, I rewarded myself with a lovely energising mediterranean salad and ginger cake from Lancaster Soup Dragon. I was able to then get changed and relax to watch and applaud incoming half marathon and marathon racers – all inspiring in their own unique way. Some good shots of club mates too – including Mark cooling his feet in the Lake All of us (Ian, John, Kay, Mark, Paul, Paula) had strong races. Typically I couldn’t resist joining them in a Hog Roast later as well!

Every stall did a roaring trade due to the sun staying out and runners constantly returning to the finish. I enjoyed a bit of Pete Lashley’s set and then to cap a cracking day, we were amongst the prize-winners. Paula won the Vet 50 women – while in the prize draw, Kay won a ladies t and I won a World of Beatrix Potter family day! Could you ask for any more? Perhaps Stainers who would have won vet 50 men but for following another runner who’d taken a wrong turn!

happy bunch of harriers – some tired legs

Talking wrong turns with ‘Stainers’

Now it’s onto the Rochdale Harriers 3 day event, before the Ultimate Trails 55km. Next few weeks will be nervous anticipation!

Jeff

All volunteers, including marshals were again superb. Huge thanks to National Trust, local farmers, Coniston Mountain Rescue and Coniston itself!